It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize