none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
