my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
