Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize