I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
