butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
