you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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