all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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