She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
