I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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