I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
