So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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