She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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