People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
