ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
