There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
