I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize