Your mouth is God's brothel.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
