I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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