Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
