why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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