people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
