Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
