just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
