And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
