I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
