new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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