can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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