yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
