Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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