But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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