"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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