When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
