I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
