I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
