So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
