Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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