when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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