the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
