so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
