shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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