so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
