They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize