if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
