just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
