I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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