you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
