D3 body, D1 cock
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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