Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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