I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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