"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
