So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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