Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm jealous of your bromance
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
