If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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