didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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