honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize