Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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