he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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