ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
