help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize