Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
