I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
