i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
