Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
