i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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