ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
