this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
