Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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