I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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