you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
