Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize