I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
