Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
